sweet dee rupee: January 2013

Honestly, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you. If you know me pretty well, you’ve probably heard it, maybe once or twice, haha.

The year 2012 was definitely not my year. Thus, within the first two weeks of 2013, I write my first blog entry in over six months. My life has been so crazy it’s been hard to 1.) keep up with it, 2.) stay sane, and 3.) even talk about it to make it seem real and not like the life of somebody else. I could write a book about it. A firecracker blowing up the Easter bunny this past Thanksgiving would be more believable than the events of my past life these past few months. I’m not even kidding.

Now, to preface this, I’m not a real dramatic person (when it comes to starting/being involved with Drama [big D discourse]) despite the fact that I’m rather theatrical in most of my interactions with others. There is a difference. Also, I really am not one to complain often or ask for help (at least my perception of myself, haha!) which is another reason why I have been unable to do any writing lately, especially writing that other people will (maybe?) read. In India, we would call this “sharing.”

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I haven’t dialogued about the events of my life in the past six months to those around me, but I don’t know a ton of people here and I’ve been HORRIBLE about being reachable via phone/Internet/email because I can’t be bothered to do the “catch-up game,” as there’s been so much going on it would be a conversation that was, on my side, very 1.) dominated by me [what else is new?] OR 2.) negative on my part. Do you know what I would tell me if I called myself? “WHOMP, WHOMP.” Catch the drift? I know I’ve created a lot of distance in my long-distance relationships this year, and for that I’m sorry. Don’t let me slip away, please reel me back in. I mean, I won’t even bore the Internet with all the gory details, because let’s face it folks, we live in a world where long-winded blogs are BORING unless they’re really, really well done and frankly I don’t have that much confidence in my writing. Seriously.

To get this story in motion, I’ll address the fact that next week I will celebrate my One-Year-in-Richmond anniversary. Holy cow, how has a year gone by? Didn’t I just get back from India? Oh yeah, like a year and a half ago. Whoops! I’m 28 now (woot woot, here’s the late 20’s party train, coming in hot), still feel like I’m about sixteen and have the relative maturity level of a sixteen-year-old as well, haha. Luckily, I have met a bunch of jokers here and have several awesome friends who match my level on a very consistent basis.

Really, the year of 2012, my first year living in Richmond can be categorized into two parts: stressing the heck out and having so much fun that I laughed til I cried. And peed myself.

First off, I'm a mover and a shaker and I did lots of both this year. Not traveling the world doesn't mean I haven't done my share of traveling. Since I moved here I've visited/explored the following places: NYC (twice), DC, Lake Gaston, NC, Pittsburgh, Chicago, Ann Arbor, Dearborn, Detroit, Baltimore, and have driven to the Midwest (family visits) twice, one of those drives being an epic camping/moving adventure! Also, I've done plenty of exploring in the greater Richmond area.

Next, in the year of 2012, I moved to four different locations and orchestrated five, yes FIVE count ‘em 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, different moving adventures, two crossing state lines. I moved from the country to the COUNTRY, then decided I’m a city kid and need to be no more than five minutes away from the closest record shop, grocery store or vegetarian friendly restaurant (they eat a lot of “country ham” and Doritos out there). So now I live in a really cool area called Lakeside near my besties’ and live with two really awesome women who are hilarious and kind of scary (in a good way, mostly).

Next, speaking of besties’, I’ve made some pretty amazing, supportive, hilarious friends since I’ve been here to see me through the madness. Without them, I probably would have come crying home to Chicago months ago. You can blame them on why I agreed to stay. Richmond is a pretty neat place with a lot going on. It is nice to be the big fish in the little pond; I really seem to flourish in such environments. Being captivated by the city and the people here are enough reasons to keep me grounded in this place for a while, despite how hairy things have been.

Now men, on the other hand, I haven’t had as much luck with. Soon after I returned home from my summer vacation in early July, things started going sour in several relationships in my life, both with my boss (Stacy) and the tall country drink of water (Mr. Wrong) that I dated for a few months. It sucks to realize that you just don’t get as long with some people as well as you had hoped or that you don’t have as much in common as you had previously thought. No big loss, it’s all an opportunity for growth and self-improvement, right? Right.

Once I cut that dude loose, I soon after met a guy who is a real whippersnapper (Mr. Wronger). We met and got along instantly like gangbusters! We’re talking same taste in books (anything we can get our hands on), same taste in music (mid-nineties alt rock), a mutual love for the city of Austin, an arsenal each of rocky tales of woe from the past, both embodying a narcissistic-while-simultaneously-hilarious personality, and each of us with thinner skin than you could imagine.

Thus, we soon realized that to be so much alike can have the effect of making two crazy people crazier. Plain vanilla. He has all the potential to be a really great guy/boyfriend/partner, but has so much to work on! I need someone in my life that is already complete, for the most part. Two people trying to work their own crap out is too much crap to be worked out in a two-person relationship. I’m not a miracle worker and I need to pick up my own pieces, thank you very much, though I always appreciate his good advice. I know it sounds selfish but I know what I want and that’s definitely not it. There need to be equal parts give and take, not give give give give, take take. Nope.

Aside from starting and forming new personal relationships, I also started several jobs this year, a few that didn’t work and one that I just can’t get rid of. First of all, I worked as an office manager at my aunt’s country medical practice. It was OK for a while, but working/living/driving/socializing together put a strain on our personal and professional relationships and let’s face it, I’m not cut out for desk work! Answering phones is the WORST! So, I found another job, my dream job, really. I had an opportunity to teach public speaking at a local college for a semester and I loved it. Everything didn’t quite work out as I would have hoped it would, but something else will come along that will work out even better. Or at least that’s the plan. In the meantime, I'm back to slangin' groceries at the Teege. It's a good place to be and it's nice to be meeting lots of young, fun people, despite the seeming retrogression in life.

To continue tangentially about remaining optimistic in the face of adversity, I definitely let my PMA (positive mental attitude) slip a bit in the last few weeks. When people ask how teachings going and I tell them what happened they’re all like “Pull yourself back up by your bootstraps” or “You’re going to find something way better than that place” or “You’re an awesome teacher, don’t let that stop you,” which I really appreciate…

…BUT I’m so sick of hearing it; it all bleeds together into a giant cliché, one that I find hard to believe in at this point in time. I wanna be like “Eff your PMA, I’m pissed off!!!” even though I know wallowing and drowning in alcohol and throwing a daily pity-party isn’t really going to help me. Likely, it made things worse, or at least extended the period of mourning, which I’m (hopefully?) over or at least moving on into the productive stage of grief instead of self-destructive (not like jump-off-a-bridge destructive, more like drink-lots-of-cheap-beer-&-whisky destructive, don’t be too worried!).

So, overall, I’m ready for a fresh start, not in a new place, but here. Now. In Richmond.

Here’s to new beginnings in 2013! May it all (you know “it all” i.e. everything) work out for all of us and that life will just continue to get better as we grow older, at least this year ;]

In the meantime, stay classy.