the year 2012 (at least half of it, in a nutshell)...

Honestly, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.  If you know me pretty well, you’ve probably heard it, maybe once or twice, haha.

The year 2012 was definitely not my year.  Thus, within the first two weeks of 2013, I write my first blog entry in over six months.  My life has been so crazy it’s been hard to 1.) keep up with it, 2.) stay sane, and 3.) even talk about it to make it seem real and not like the life of somebody else. I could write a book about it. A firecracker blowing up the Easter bunny this past Thanksgiving would be more believable than the events of my past life these past few months. I’m not even kidding.

Now, to preface this, I’m not a real dramatic person (when it comes to starting/being involved with Drama [big D discourse]) despite the fact that I’m rather theatrical in most of my interactions with others. There is a difference.  Also, I really am not one to complain often or ask for help (at least my perception of myself, haha!) which is another reason why I have been unable to do any writing lately, especially writing that other people will (maybe?) read.  In India, we would call this “sharing.”

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I haven’t dialogued about the events of my life in the past six months to those around me, but I don’t know a ton of people here and I’ve been HORRIBLE about being reachable via phone/Internet/email because I can’t be bothered to do the “catch-up game,” as there’s been so much going on it would be a conversation that was, on my side, very 1.) dominated by me [what else is new?] OR 2.) negative on my part. Do you know what I would tell me if I called myself? “WHOMP, WHOMP.” Catch the drift? I know I’ve created a lot of distance in my long-distance relationships this year, and for that I’m sorry. Don’t let me slip away, please reel me back in. I mean, I won’t even bore the Internet with all the gory details, because let’s face it folks, we live in a world where long-winded blogs are BORING unless they’re really, really well done and frankly I don’t have that much confidence in my writing. Seriously.

To get this story in motion, I’ll address the fact that next week I will celebrate my One-Year-in-Richmond anniversary. Holy cow, how has a year gone by? Didn’t I just get back from India? Oh yeah, like a year and a half ago. Whoops!  I’m 28 now (woot woot, here’s the late 20’s party train, coming in hot), still feel like I’m about sixteen and have the relative maturity level of a sixteen-year-old as well, haha. Luckily, I have met a bunch of jokers here and have several awesome friends who match my level on a very consistent basis. 

 

Really, the year of 2012, my first year living in Richmond can be categorized into two parts: stressing the heck out and having so much fun that I laughed til I cried. And peed myself.

First off, I'm a mover and a shaker and I did lots of both this year. Not traveling the world doesn't mean I haven't done my share of traveling. Since I moved here I've visited/explored the following places: NYC (twice), DC, Lake Gaston, NC, Pittsburgh, Chicago, Ann Arbor, Dearborn, Detroit, Baltimore, and have driven to the Midwest (family visits) twice, one of those drives being an epic camping/moving adventure! Also, I've done plenty of exploring in the greater Richmond area.

Next, in the year of 2012, I moved to four different locations and orchestrated five, yes FIVE count ‘em 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, different moving adventures, two crossing state lines. I moved from the country to the COUNTRY, then decided I’m a city kid and need to be no more than five minutes away from the closest record shop, grocery store or vegetarian friendly restaurant (they eat a lot of “country ham” and Doritos out there). So now I live in a really cool area called Lakeside near my besties’ and live with two really awesome women who are hilarious and kind of scary (in a good way, mostly).

Next, speaking of besties’, I’ve made some pretty amazing, supportive, hilarious friends since I’ve been here to see me through the madness.  Without them, I probably would have come crying home to Chicago months ago. You can blame them on why I agreed to stay.  Richmond is a pretty neat place with a lot going on.  It is nice to be the big fish in the little pond; I really seem to flourish in such environments. Being captivated by the city and the people here are enough reasons to keep me grounded in this place for a while, despite how hairy things have been.

Now men, on the other hand, I haven’t had as much luck with.  Soon after I returned home from my summer vacation in early July, things started going sour in several relationships in my life, both with my boss (Stacy) and the tall country drink of water (Mr. Wrong) that I dated for a few months.  It sucks to realize that you just don’t get as long with some people as well as you had hoped or that you don’t have as much in common as you had previously thought.  No big loss, it’s all an opportunity for growth and self-improvement, right? Right. 

Once I cut that dude loose, I soon after met a guy who is a real whippersnapper (Mr. Wronger). We met and got along instantly like gangbusters! We’re talking same taste in books (anything we can get our hands on), same taste in music (mid-nineties alt rock), a mutual love for the city of Austin, an arsenal each of rocky tales of woe from the past,  both embodying a narcissistic-while-simultaneously-hilarious personality, and each of us with thinner skin than you could imagine.

Thus, we soon realized that to be so much alike can have the effect of making two crazy people crazier. Plain vanilla. He has all the potential to be a really great guy/boyfriend/partner, but has so much to work on! I need someone in my life that is already complete, for the most part. Two people trying to work their own crap out is too much crap to be worked out in a two-person relationship.  I’m not a miracle worker and I need to pick up my own pieces, thank you very much, though I always appreciate his good advice.  I know it sounds selfish but I know what I want and that’s definitely not it. There need to be equal parts give and take, not give give give give, take take. Nope.

Aside from starting and forming new personal relationships, I also started several jobs this year, a few that didn’t work and one that I just can’t get rid of.  First of all, I worked as an office manager at my aunt’s country medical practice.  It was OK for a while, but working/living/driving/socializing together put a strain on our personal and professional relationships and let’s face it, I’m not cut out for desk work! Answering phones is the WORST!  So, I found another job, my dream job, really.  I had an opportunity to teach public speaking at a local college for a semester and I loved it.  Everything didn’t quite work out as I would have hoped it would, but something else will come along that will work out even better.  Or at least that’s the plan. In the meantime, I'm back to slangin' groceries at the Teege.  It's a good place to be and it's nice to be meeting lots of young, fun people, despite the seeming retrogression in life.

To continue tangentially about remaining optimistic in the face of adversity, I definitely let my PMA (positive mental attitude) slip a bit in the last few weeks.  When people ask how teachings going and I tell them what happened they’re all like “Pull yourself back up by your bootstraps” or “You’re going to find something way better than that place” or “You’re an awesome teacher, don’t let that stop you,” which I really appreciate…

…BUT I’m so sick of hearing it; it all bleeds together into a giant cliché, one that I find  hard to believe in at this point in time.  I wanna be like “Eff your PMA, I’m pissed off!!!” even though I know wallowing and drowning in alcohol and throwing a daily pity-party isn’t really going to help me. Likely, it made things worse, or at least extended the period of mourning, which I’m (hopefully?) over or at least moving on into the productive stage of grief instead of self-destructive (not like jump-off-a-bridge destructive, more like drink-lots-of-cheap-beer-&-whisky destructive, don’t be too worried!).

So, overall, I’m ready for a fresh start, not in a new place, but here. Now. In Richmond.

Here’s to new beginnings in 2013!  May it all (you know “it all” i.e. everything) work out for all of us and that life will just continue to get better as we grow older, at least this year ;]

In the meantime, stay classy.

stormin' the cemetery gates.

Baltimore.

why do bridges look so cool?

My lil mini-house in Beaverdam, VA.

my summed-up summer.

View from the top at the Marriott in Richmond.

Another country sunset.

the Bruces <3

I love my bestie so much I bought the same car as her :)

Richmond city sky on a folky day.

this guy is the COOLEST!!

probably a good thing he doesn't drink often...

roadtrip casualty: Zach City catches some Z's.

my people.

October-mountain sky.

Oh, the colors!

view from our campsite.

oh yeah, Emily Smith came to visit for my birthday! awesomeness!! love her!

"I mustache you a question. It's hairy important."

walking around Richmond.

white Christmas on Dolores this year.

my sweet Momma on her birthday.

much love for my new room.

two months?! really. oh, Lordy.

Like, hey 'n stuff! Apparently, if I stop traveling, I stop writing in my travel blog. Luckily, some folks have been traveling to me lately!

Since I last posted, though, I've had three of my favorites come visit me on separate weekends (!!) In early May, before shipping out across the sea, dear, sweet MJ stopped in VA for a few days to hang out, drink beer and get in trouble (lol, we're both too loud): we had a blast!  We didn't really do much else, but whatever we do is usually the funniest thing ever.  We laugh like hyenas together.  Wild ones (not the kind at the zoo).

Growing up and moving all over the world is awesome, I fully support it.  Yet, damn, I realize how much I miss people when I actually see them.  Since I was living in Chicago when MJ moved to Alaska, it didn't seem like I'd miss him much more than I already did, though Detroit is much closer to Chicago than Alaska.  We're definitely two of the same nuts in the trail mix together and I really enjoyed having the opportunity to spend time with him (all to myself!) before he got the hell out of dodge.

The following weekend, my most favorite man came to visit: Big Mike!!! Weeeee!!! He rode his motorcycle to the G double Oh, all the way from Livonia!  Whoa!  I don't even think his butt hurt too much, either.  Once again, it was another quick, short weekend that went by too fast but was full of food, motorcycle rides and laughter.  My poppa is the awesomest and I love him sooooooo much!!

After having my people in town two weekends in a row, I got kind of bummed out for the following week or so.  It dawned upon me that I really don't have many friends here (think I'm still hovering at around 3 or 4) and how lonely I am without people who know me to the core, that aren't still going through the process of learning my quirks and crazy spells, and vice versa!  Yet, I'm so lucky to have these friends/family from all over the place that I can catch up with so easily and spend quality time with when they're around. 

Once again, having the patience to wait it out and see where life goes here.  I don't always have to be a social butterfly but it is nice to have a few friends.  And I do.  It's just so different from India, where there were 50 built in friends all the time and you had to carve time away from them so you could have alone time.  It was pretty much the same in Chicago, working at the Teege: 60 built in besties, all the time.  Now, not so much, but I'm learning to embrace my new found social independence to do more projects (like beginning to write a book and deciding that I should apply for jobs that I would love to do) and catch-up with friends I already have.

Plus, everyone I work with here is really amazing.  I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this once, twice or thrice. Yet, I'm in the middle age-wise.  The receptionists are young and have their boyfriends, the nurses are older and have families/husbands/ex-husbands/kids/grandkids that keep them busy when they're not at work.  There is definitely a sense of familial solidarity that I get from the relationships at work, which makes doing a job that I don't have particular passion for doable. I just wish I could bring them home with me and make them drink beer with me.  I have Auntie and UK for that, but it's just not the same.  They're like my roommies.  They're always here.

Sure, this close-knit environment gets a little too dramatic (we're all women!) and I want to set off running for the hills, Iron Maiden style. There is a lot of gossip and BS'ing that takes place on a daily basis, and it's easy to make trivial things seem like a big deal the way they get blown out of proportion. It's maybe a part of the job that I like at times and dislike at others, but overall, it's silly if you can manage to not get caught up in it. Somedays, I reel at how dramatic the lives of those around me have been and I'm exhausted in a drama-by-association kind of way!

All drama aside, I have been kind-of seeing a boy (a man, really, he's 32 and six foot five, lol), so that helps to pass the time and give me a sense of companionship. However, I don't want to be too demanding of his time and put a lot of pressure on him to hang out, like he's my only friend or something.  We've decided that we're just "playing it cool" (whatever that means, I've been out of the dating scene for half a decade) but I think we like each other. Enough.  I would tell you his name, but a.) it's not quite worth mentioning yet, and b.) he doesn't really like his name (for good reason), so I call him something else anyway: T-Dow. Stands for tall drink of water.  Yup, I'm clever, hahahaha.  He actually likes it. 

So, yeah, he's pretty cool.  Totally a country boy and a self-identified redneck who makes fun of me for being a "Yankee" (which, I'm a Midwesterner, I hardly identify with such a title, though I do refer to soda as pop, because that's what it is).  He's an electrician (creepy) and he owns his own house (which is a bachelor pad so uncleanly kept it's even more creepily reminiscent of my own father's house), has never been married, has no kids, isn't a total weirdo, has two dogs and two cats that are just as sweet and laid back as he is: he's not so bad.  He kind of reminds me of Hoyt from True Blood (yup, it's back for it's fifth season and it's trashier than ever), aside from the Western shirt (which I am still working on finding one for T, haha): he's just got that air of being a tall, sweet, kind of gumpy, southern man. Despite how sweet we both are, we quibble constantly. It's funny though because we're super honest and call each other out on our BS and don't like taking it near as much as dishing it, which leads to some hilarious, light-hearted bickering.  Mostly for the amusement of others.

On the other hand, we lack a lot of common interests (him eating meat, me not so much), but they're mostly superficial, surface things. I refer to us as "polar opposites" most of the time, as we hardly agree on anything.  He dislikes tattoos and dreadlocks and I think he's disgusting because he never drinks water and survives solely on root beer and orange pop, lol. Opposites attract, right Paula Abdul?

We do have commonalities in how we treat other people, we're both former "fat kids" and can understand how it affects our current identities, we love our families and would do anything for them: these are the things that are really important, even if I don't think Mel Brooks' movies are as funny as he does or if he thinks Wes Anderson films are kind of boring.  Either way, we have intelligent, two-sided conversations which keeps life interesting.  More interesting than discussing the weather and town gossip. We'll see what happens.  It's nice to have a friend either way.

I even introduced him to Jocelyn (she was willing to, I wouldn't have made her hang with him if she didn't want to!) last weekend when she was here.  She wasn't impressed, lol, nor was she feeling 100%. 

She and I had as much fun as we could, including JUMPING OUT OF A PLANE FROM 13,500 FEET ABOVE THE EARTH!  Definitely one of the most bad-ass things I've ever done.  I wasn't even nervous, maybe I'm a natural? I totally want to do that again. and again. and again.  Maybe even without a person strapped to my back!  It's one expensive hobby, though, I might have to wait for my flirty 30's for that one, once I have my student loan paid off.

Having Jocelyn here really was amazing.  It was nice to have her all to myself for four days, despite her feeling so ill the whole time.  I wasn't trying to go out and party or hang out all night, I was content to merely spend time chatting with and loving on her. She brings me back to myself and helps me reset when I see her. Something about our relationship makes me feel like myself (whoever that is!) She knows me better than any other person in the world, the closest person I have on earth to a sister, and I'm so thankful that despite what she's seen me through and seen me do, she still loves me and wants to continue this friendship til the end.  I'm OK with that :-) She's just as lovely, if not more. Her heart is bigger than mine and she has more patience than I do. 

It was really hard to leave her at the airport on Monday, but luckily I'll see her in less than two weeks when I head home for my big Midwestern adventure! A whirlwind tour of Detroit and Chicago will have me (likely) not sleeping enough and partying too hard, I'll need a vacation to recover from my vacation!  It will be nice to get to spend some time with Dad, grandma and any other willing members of the Harkins clan.  I'll even get to see my mom and Ken and some of her clan whilst in MI.  I'm telling you, it's going to be BONKERZ. For real, yo! 

So, there is much to look forward to!  Part of this new found social independence has helped me become a total homebody.  I haven't gone out dancing or for karaoke since I arrived here in January. I'm thinking I'll have to do both when I go home this summer. I've only been to Richmond itself like four times (I'm so lame!).   Despite being a homebody and how hard it is to get me away from the pool in the backyard now that summer's in full swing, I still crave that city life of staying out all night with my friends and being an anonymous wild-woman on the dance floor or the microphone at a trashy dive-bar. Rawr!

Enough said.  I've missed my blog. I'll be sure to write more once I'm on the road again (in just a week or so!) In the meantime, enjoy the pictures below, you may recognize some familiar faces!

where I spend most of my time when I'm not at work...

pool pup.

he's such a babe! just looking at his goofy smile makes me laugh out loud.

hard to take photos, hang on, and not drop the phone all at once.

country roads do take me home.

big mike, bad-ass.

our backyard looks like a four-star resort. poor me.

poor, poor me.

perfect day: "you ain't ever gonna burn my heart out."

baby face (t-dow)

the Southeast's version of iHop: everything comes with pancakes!

doxie.

loki.

baby kittnes! ash on the left, smoke on the right. (I call ash "Ashole" and smoke "Smoke Rings" because they're usually up to no good. together).

oh yeah, the garden is THRIVING!

harvest a little squash, drink a couple beers. sounds like Friday.

10 minutes and counting from jumping out of a plane: what!?!?

she either didn't want to have her photo taken or go skydiving. I'll presume the former.

city slickin'.

Ahh, how the road smells so different from the home!

I love it!  As good as it has been to live in the middle of nowhere and enjoy the smells of nature and the country sky day in and day out, escaping for a few days a few times in the past few weeks was GREEEEATTTTT!!  I feel secure in my identity as a city person; this identity is reborn and refueled on the energy of a city.

About two weeks ago I took the Amtrak (first timer!) to NYC to meet up with several of my friends from Chicago (some really rad folks!). Most of me really loved seeing my friends, but part of me loved being there, too.  Though I may have just been to New York a few weeks ago, there were some major differences this time around. 1.) I wasn’t suffering from any sort of roid-fueled-rage. 2.) I was with other people of a youthful age and able -bodied (though after all the walking we did each day we could have begged to differ) and 3.) the people I met up with were vegetarians that are into cycling, yoga, not-drinking-tons-of-alcohol and walking where we needed to go (despite the blisters on our toes).

It was so worth it!!! We did so much and had so much fun that it would be so hard to describe it all.  We laughed so much, pretty much from sun up to sun down, for 48 straight hours; joyous!!!  I encourage all friends who don’t get to see each other often (or even those that do!) to take a trip together. As long as you enjoy spending time with your friends.  If you don’t, this wouldn’t be a good thing for you.  It’s also important the people you want to vacation/travel with have a similar demeanor and attitude towards traveling in general. For example, if one person is used to staying at the Ritz-Carlton when they travel (I don’t know these people who do this, but this is only an example) and their friend wants to stay in a hostel, there will probably be some disagreement and hostility involved in selecting a place to sleep. However, if all parties are cool with eating pizza twice a day, don’t mind staying in a hostel and don’t mind walking without purpose, traveling to NYC with laid-back friends is something you might enjoy. 

As mentioned before, it’s usually easy to tell if you were supposed to take a particular trip or not based on if you can feel the “travel magic” upon the beginning of your travels or not.  If things get off to a great start, it is likely that the feeling will continue and follow you along your entire journey.  Travel magic also ensures that the people you travel with were the perfect choice for going to a particular location   It’s hard to describe with words; you can just feel it!  Maybe other people don’t know about it unless they’ve traveled with me (cocky) and I made the whole thing up… (but I’m pretty sure it exists).

I hope my point is conveyed by how awesome of a time I had in the Big Apple (do people still call it that? I might be a bit dated with my NYC lingo)!! We walked to get food, we walked for coffee, we walked for tickets, we walked to Brooklyn, we walked to dinner, we walked to the train, we sat for a few moments to rest our aching feet on the train, then we walked to the hostel, we walked for drinks later. And that was only day one.  Oh, and we tried to find public toilets, haha.  We spent about 30% of our waking, walking hours trying to locate places to pee, as every 30 minutes one of us had to go.

The next day looked about the same, but we ended up taking transit a few times to escape the rain, had less food involved, more exercise (including a yoga class!), record shopping, museum browsing at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, a concert and much, much more fun. And much, much more pizza.

Though the subway system seems more daunting (and even kind of dirtier) than in Chicago, it really wasn’t that hard to use in practice (letters versus numbers) and the train-cars themselves were laid out more ergonomically and were a little wider than the CTA “L” cars. Way to go, New York! The rumors are true…

The feelings of loneliness and lack of human contact with like-minded folk was healed by spending time with a few people who make me feel like myself and bring out the loveliness in me, as I hope that I do for them. I definitely feel confident in my ability to have and to maintain friendships after this trip! 

The weekend I arrived back in Richmond, I ran the Ukropt Monument 10K (finished in 65 minutes, not bad for plugging along in my first real race!)  and got invited by a friend here to go to Washington DC to hang/have fun/explore over Easter weekend: uh, yes please!!

So this past weekend, my friend Jessica and I drove up to the DC area and took the METRO into the city to meet up/stay with one of her friends from art school. What a blast we had!  We got to celebrate our first-ever Passover (lots of fun to participate in a Seder!), drank til we were thirsty again, danced til our bladders burst, and laughed until our eyes weeped and our rears tooted. Haha, what a time!  The nights were a blur of bars, clubs and beers while the daytime stretched out and blurred into a series of coffees, snacks and museums, only to be followed by another of the previously mentioned evenings. 

I feel so happy from having two traveling, city trips in the past two weeks.  I like living in the country because I get to come back to it. I can go to the city occasionally when I need to recharge.  When I used to live in the city and would escape to the country every once in a while, I would always dread going back to the city to resume my life in the concrete jungle.  Now, I can escape there like a wild animal, then return home to hibernate in my country den. It smells so good and is so peaceful here.  I’m staying put for at least another month. I think :)

Brooklyn, what?!?!

this is a life size bronze sculpture mounted to a wall above a staircase: creepy! hence, the yellow glowing eyes...

screw poison, I'll take the dagger.

neck blood soup, anyone?

sculpture garden at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

isn't he a sweet little effer?

apparently, this guy rides for free.

scuba steve's "moccasins."

cubbies.

babe.coms...

enter: DC

Video Game exhibit: oh, joy!  after "Bitwars" I was lost...

uh, where can I get one of these in my size?!

orchid exhibit at the conservatory.

tiny baby orchids!

as my friend Sarah from the UK would say: "They look like fannies!" Uh, Sarah, we don't call those fannies here...

See, even the trees are made out of metal in the city... (Sculpture Garden, Washington, D.C.)