Red and black ants and face plants...

Ugh. 

Around here, the Sadhana compound that is, there's this term that I've been hearing, constantly, since hour 1: full power.  It's like the "kaizen" of Sadhana.  It means feeling awesome and being all that you can be, yada yada yada.  People say it all.the.time.

Worse yet, I've even found myself saying it.  Not recently, but my first few days I'm all like "Yeah, garden watering, full power, booyah!" As a consequence of rockin' out a little bit too much full power, I feel like poopoo kaka.  Though I have moved from the healing hut back to my own hut, each day is a roller coaster ride of energy.  It's kind of hard to have energy when you don't eat, I guess.

Yeah, so I'm struggling with a fear of having the D word, which translates me to being afraid to eat anything that is prepared here.  It's kind of weird that I, Danielle Harkins, food lover extroardinaire, is willing to not eat because she doesn't want to get sick.

I don't really have much of an appetite either; the mere thought of any of the food from Sadhana makes me sick to my stomach.  I haven't eaten any of it since Sunday morning.  I know, crazy.  They say fasting is good to defeat sickness, but shit, I'm tired.  Kind of makes me miss the teege.  I'm craving some gnocchi sorrentala (sp?) from the frozen section right about now...

Sorry to sound a little like Debbie Downer, this is the part of the blog where I get real with the folks back home.  Don't worry, though, just becaue I haven't eaten anything from here doesn't mean I haven't eaten anything at all!  Some nice people have been kind enough to sneak in contraband (read: processed food, still vegan) that tastes good.  A few days ago, someone brought back some rolls, so that was my meal on that day.  The next day, someone brought back some little crackers, potato chips, and even some Kombucha (which is crazy cheap here, like 35 rupees=less than a dollar, screw Whole Foods).

Last night, someone even brought back some paratha from a local Indian restaurant.  I feel like I'm eating like a picky 2 year old, haha.

And I haven't been alone.  It just so happens that my closest Sadhana friend thus far, Ida from Sweden,  has been just as sick as I have and we've been able to spend time loads of sick time together, eating contraband snacks, hehe.

I'm not gonna lie, it still sucks.  Now that I'm back in my own hut, I have to resume a war with these red and black ants that sneak up and crawl over everything.  And they bite. 

One of my first afternoons here I took a shower (read: filling up a bucket and dumping water over yourself with a cup, in privacy, no less!) then returned to my hut for a nice little nap.  When I woke up, I had these stupid ants crawling all over me.  You can't feel their bites, you just see them later.  So I've been walking around the past week with about 70 bites all over my legs and arms.  Awesome.

And apparently, I haven't quite figured how to get rid of them, because they keep showing up.  Never at night, thank God, so I can sleep then.  It's just in the afternoon, when I want to take a little siesta, they pop up everywhere.  And it's never when my eyes are open, I never see them, it's as soon as I start dozing off, I can feel one or two crawling on my leg, maybe my arm.  I swear they're little demon ants.

I even have lots of bug bites on my face, though I think they're from mosquitoes.  That's why I'm not posting or taking any photos this week.  There's got to be at least 30 on my face, I look like I have acne; people keep asking like "Dude, what happened to your face?" It's awesome.  One guy thought I had chicken pox.  I was like "Hey guy, wrong number, I've already had them, I'm actually a leper."

Eh.  So that's what's going on.  If it's what you're into, I could use some prayer this week, to bring me back to full power, and to bring my heart back to why I'm here because I'm almost ready to call the whole thing off.  The past 5 or 6 days have been baddd.

Kisses!